Before I had kids, leaving the house took roughly thirty seconds. I grabbed my keys, put on my shoes, and walked out the front door. I fundamentally did not understand why mothers with young children were always fifteen minutes late to everything.
Now, I understand. Leaving the house with a toddler is not a transition; it is a full-scale tactical operation that requires the stamina of an Olympic athlete and the negotiation skills of a hostage crisis expert.
Let’s look at a completely ordinary Tuesday morning where the only goal is to go to the post office.
Minute 1: I announce that we are leaving in five minutes. This immediately triggers a panic response in my toddler, who decides that right now is the most critical moment in his life to build a 60-piece train track. Minute 10: I physically remove him from the train track. Tears are shed. Minute 15: We begin the Great Shoe Battle. He insists he wants to wear his rain boots. It is 75 degrees and sunny. I tell myself to pick my battles and say fine, wear the rain boots. Minute 20: He cannot find the left rain boot. We tear apart the mudroom. I find it under the sofa next to a dried-up string cheese. Minute 28: He is finally fully dressed, boots on, standing by the door. I grab my purse. I feel a fleeting sense of victory. Minute 29: “Mommy, I need to go potty.” Minute 35: The boots come off. The pants come off. The potty trip happens. The pants go back on. The boots go back on. I am actively sweating through my sweater. Minute 40: We walk out the front door. He stops dead in his tracks because he realizes he forgot his “buddy.” His buddy today is not a stuffed animal. It is a plastic spatula from my kitchen drawer. He cannot possibly ride in the car without the spatula. Minute 45: I am driving to the post office. My child is happily clutching a spatula in the backseat. I am mentally exhausted, and it is only 9:15 AM.
If you are a mother who constantly feels like you are failing because you cannot seem to get out the door on time, please give yourself some grace. You are fighting against tiny humans who possess absolutely zero concept of urgency.
Stop planning four errands in one morning. If you manage to get everyone dressed, into the car, and to one single destination without losing your mind, you have won the day. And if they have to wear rain boots and carry a spatula to make it happen? Let them.